Forgetting You / Losing Me

There is no real way to express
The profound and rawness
Of missing
You
My Beloved.
This shining soul encased in flesh
Surrounded by skin
Hung on bones.
How is it I lose you so easily
Throughout the day
Neglect at best
Abuse as worst.
As if when the Sun sets it no longer exists.
As if when incarnated
I am no longer the Sacred.
The Loneliness
Descends
So quickly and completely
I lose the time
To catch my Heart
To remember
I have never left.
This is not who I am
Only an experience I am having.
My Beloved
The Sacred
Is with me
Within me
And Without, as Other.
I am submerged.
Engulfed.
Always.

Love and Friendship

We all have Dark and Light in us and in our lives. We learn and grow from both. While we need boundaries to protect our Self, as we grow stronger we are more and more able to stay present for those who need us.... in their Darkness as well as in the Light. We learn we cannot help everyone.... but we can stay and love them. We learn to not always sacrifice our Self for others. We learn that everyone has Guides that care for them. We learn not to believe that someone is suddenly our friend because they need us, when in the years prior, there was no evidence of friendship. Life, love.... of others and of the Self.... is a balance. True love, in friendship as well, accepts boundaries and limitations. Embraces the journey of Kali which always proceeds a breakthrough. And continues to share in Shakti. If someone rejects you because you say you honestly simply cannot help them at this time...... that is manipulation, not love. If someone comes you proclaiming love or adoration only when they are in a Kali cycle, that is neediness, not love. If someone leaves you... different from saying I cannot help you, but I will stay with you...... when you are in a Kali cycle, that is not love. That is what we call a fair weather friend. Look for the balance that exists, or doesn't exist, in all relationships. Seek balance in the Love you share with others. 

Be a BFF to your Self

People are so lonely these days. We long to be seen.  Not as hair, nails, cars, our jobs etc. We want to be seen for our authentic self.  This is why people often fall in love with their therapist, or a healer. Not because they are getting help, but because they are getting attention. Lots of it. And the patient or client is the center of attention.

After a Reading or a class people often refer to me as the friend, or best friend. In fact, people know nothing about me as the session or time spent with me has been all about them with some disclosure from me in the manner of teaching stories shared, not personal friend bonding stories.Why am I seen as a friend?   To me, this is an indication of how little time one is spending with one's inner child, higher self, authentic self. 

If you find yourself falling in love with, or declaring best friend status with a therapist, or any kind of healer consider this a red flag--- that you need to develop a loving relationship...with YOU, and with Spirit.  It is dangerous to make another human your source for love,  especially your only source.

Humans are imperfect.  Be your own best friend first.  And make Spirit your Soul Mate.  Live from Soul. Live from Spirit. Then your relationships with humans will shine.

Food for the Dark Side

As your Light grows, you shine..... even on the dark side (Yin and Yang-- there is always dark and light).  While helping others, you will also look like food to those that inhabit the darkness (both on earth and energetically). If you have holes in your energy field (recreational drugs, alcohol, abuse, truama), you are vulnerable to becoming a snack or even a full meal to predators (human and energetic spirits).  Keep shining, but also develop a strong core of personal energetic health and strength. Use discernment. Develop and trust your intuition (not your groin, or hormones, or emotional neediness). Meditate, cultivate, perhaps work with a Teacher.  Keep healing. Clean your "house" on a regular basis. Care for the you on this earth as you do your car, cell phone, nails, hair, etc. In fact, care for you..... more.

SkinWalkers -- Regression Meditations

Most people are skilled at being a SkinWalker-- shape shifting to survive a job, or a relationship. Unfortunately most people do this unconsciously so shape shifting becomes an unconscious habit rather than a conscious choice. People without a strong spiritual and energetic core often lose touch with their authentic self. They lose touch with their essential self as they become habitual shape shifters to "get along" or to avoid getting hurt.

An unconscious person who uses SkinWalking to avoid pain, begins to collect one repressed emotion or uncomfortable situation upon another and these pile up creating a facade person that now lives on top of the authentic self. This in turn creates reactions in present time that are loaded because they are now linked to a whole chain of unhealed (and now unconscious) past events. So when your loved one perhaps turns you down for a date night, you might flip your lid because that innocent and honest reaction set off a chain of unconscious painful or upsetting memories. And you, being unconscious that this chain was ignited, will blame your loved one or your self for the over reaction and now a disastrous drama unfolds. All completely unnecessary, not to mention exhausting, alienating and painful.

Past life regressions and life between life regressions are wonderful (and long) processes to access soul memories. Regression meditation unravels the knots that are currently disrupting you in this current life. It is powerful clearing work.

Untie the old knots interfering with your current ability to be present. Watch your reactive body change dramatically even with one session. Become a true SkinWalker, rather than a person who has sold their authentic self down the river just to get along with others or to survive a situation that causes you anxiety or fear. Begin to become the "real you" again.... and shed the survivor facade you created that then took you over as a bad habit.

Make an appointment with Dr Marie and shed a skin. 

Moving out of Hell

You are afraid of pain. So you hide in your routines, your weight gain, in the keeping of secrets about your life ....  thinking this all makes you feel better. But this is only like drinking more water in Hell. Don't you want to leave Hell? The personal hell you have created for your Self? The hell that says, "If you leave here, you will suffer. You will feel pain." You are your own Devil. Your fear and the stories you tell your Self keep you trapped..... in hell. For so long that you no longer think of it as Hell but rather your life, under control, okay and there is hope (more glasses of water coming). The story of  moving on in 5 chapters:
1) I walk down the street. There is a large hole. I don't see it. I fall in. It takes forever to get out.
2) I walk down the street. There is a large hole. I see it. I fall in. It takes forever to get out.
3) I walk down the street. There is a large hole. I see it. I fall in. I get out quickly.
4) I walk down the street. There is a large hole. I see it. I walk around it.
5) I walk down a different street.
Pray for courage to change the things you can and for the courage to follow Guidance. Work with a Teacher and trust the process. Share with your close friends. Move out of Hell into a better neighborhood.

Building a Foundation..... before you Shield

Shielding is like building a moat, adding alligators, and adding drone patrols. But what if there is nothing to shield but a mud puddle ??

If home base, your home energy field, is a castle, that already is protection. It has thick walls, and a cozy inside. A place to relax, think, reflect, rejuvenate. Our internal energy field is our castle-- however it can also be our mud puddle.

Spiritual practices build our foundation. Not only does that establish a safe zone long before one needs to establish shielding, it also gives us a nice home. Our place to live.  Build a foundation first. You will find with a strong foundation you do not need to worry so much about shields.

It is only with a strong foundation that the garden of our intuition, and our connection with Spirit can grow-- like a garden on the castle grounds, rather than a constant foraging in the woods.  Even nomadic tribes travel with tents or build shelters whenever they stay for a while. So many spiritual people are scattered and wounded. And while emergency shields are good in combat, at some point we want to pull back from the front lines and get our spiritual home strong.

Trees without a good root system fall in a storm.

Cultivate your home energies. Establish your energetic roots. Nurture your garden so you have a place to come home too. Then see how much shielding you may, or may not need.

Go with the flow -- or are you running away ?

Good question !! Sometimes there is no answer.... the answer is "stay in the process."  Our Spiritual practice helps us to keep a balance. Between yin and yang..... digging deep and letting it go..... self examination and self criticism.  Go with the flow can sometimes mean: I don't want to self examine.... I just want to feel good.  In order to grow, we have to do some shadow work.  Sometimes in doing shadow work, we can be hard on ourselves. That doesn't mean stop or run or abandon the work. It simply means re-balance.

I'd Rather Have Fun

Another addiction..... the pursuit of fun. After it wears off.....we seek more. Another pet, another RV, another party, another sexual encounter, another pregnancy, travel. These are not bad things, it is the relentless pursuit. Where the Seeking for fun (or busy,,, or distraction) becomes a priority. It is one way, like drugs, to get hormones and neurotransmitters running.... at least for a bit.  When you are connected to your higher self, to Spirit, there is nothing to wear off. No hole to fill. Life flows in and out. Joy is as constant as our heart beat.

Don't be a Victim...Be Honest

We often lie to our self.....I cannot afford a therapist, but then we buy a motor home. I cannot keep my older horse.... then we buy a new luxury sport car for weekend drives.  If we lie to our self, we cannot progress. We make excuses instead of progress. We present a false self both to others and our self, further obscuring our true self and our Path. And how can Spirit get through to us if we can't face life honestly?  Make your choices and own them Face who you are. Admit and accept your priorities. Spirit or a man? Meditation or alcohol ?  Where do you put most of your effort in you life?  You might be surprised at the answers.  Start there... where you are...where you truly are.   Namaste Dear Ones.